I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Randomize
