i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
