my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
