why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
