The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
