Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
