Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I'm gonna have a badass scar
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
