no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
