Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
