dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
