They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
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