He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
so much tequila, so little girl.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
