She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
