So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
