Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Randomize