Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
