I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
