Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
