she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Randomize
