is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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