One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
