She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
