she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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