Yo dont text me then not text me
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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