It's like God shit irony all over that family
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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