How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
