take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
