She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Randomize
