I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
