You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
