hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Randomize
