I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Randomize
