You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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