Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
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