I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
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