end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
