garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
