So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
i think i have two assholes
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Randomize
