YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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