Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
