i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize