I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
