I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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