like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
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