I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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