This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Randomize
