real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
