No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Randomize
