Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
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Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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