I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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