Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Randomize