walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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