super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
