every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
