i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
