You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
