I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize