Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
