Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
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