are you still at the devil's house?
brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
