I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
