Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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