if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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