he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize